Week 16 - Better late than never!

Sorry it has been a manic Chrissy week.  I am chuffed to report that I managed a 1.3kg loss on Monday bringing my weight to 78.5kg and a total loss of 24.5kg.

We have had a lovely Christmas - lots of wine and small amounts of delish food.  I really don't feel like I have missed out at all.  I got to eat the things that I really love only in much much smaller portions.  I didn't have to cope with the stuffed to the brim feeling after a long lunch.

I am due to do some comparison shots but as my Mum is away you will have to settle on this Chrissy photo of me and the kids : )

Week 15

OK - update time!  I have managed to stay in the 70's!  Today I weighed in at 79.8kg.  That is a loss of .9kg this week and total of 23.3kg.

Lots of Christmas parties this weekend so to be honest I think I am lucky to be where I am.  Having all dry weekdays this week to keep myself in check.

My work Chrissy do was a fancy event on the Brissy River, cocktail style, outdoors with views to die for.  As promised here is the LBD that I bought.  It felt so good not to be the huge girl and to show how far I have come.  My delicious date loved the dress and we had a wonderful weekend and stayed over night on the 30th floor of a city hotel.

Will try to post some more photos later when they upload them : )

Goals Update!

Well I hopped on the scales this morning and I am so excited - 79.8KG!!!!! 

I can't even remember the last time I was in the 70's!  The feeling is fantastic and I am on a high and so very very happy even though I am a couple of weeks off my goal.

Time to have a think about assessing my targets and what is realistic for me.

Anyway just HAD to share : )

Goals
To be under 90kg by 1st October - Achieved 8th October
To be under 85kg by 1st November - Achieved 3rd November
To be under 80kg by 1st December - Achieved 16th December
To be under 75kg by 1st January

To fit into a size 12 pair of jeans
To buy some size 12 swimmers

Week 14

I know I am a few days late and tbh my body is driving me crazy!  I had my smallest loss ever this week only.4kg.  Bringing my weight to 80.7kg and a total loss of 22.4kg.

I have tried to shake things up a little eating a few less calories and less protein.  I so want to see the 70's on the scales but just can't seem to make it happen.  I am feeling frustrated!

Week 13

Well things really seem to have slowed down for me atm.  I have lost another .7kg this week bringing my total to 22kg and my weight to 81.1kg.  It seems that I love the 80's and my body is resisting any effort that I make to shift the scales significantly - but it will happen!

Life for me is great atm.  My confidence is soaring.  I love wearing my new clothes and getting compliments for people.  I feel happy.  Happy with my life, my body and my whole outlook has changed.

I have bought a beautiful single shoulder cocktail dress for my fancy work Christmas party.  I feel so beautiful in it and I can't wait to post a photo from the night.

Food wise I have been eating all sorts of different things.  Alot less quantity of course but I have tried a kebab, some Indian food, risotto and toasted sandwiches.  Slow and steady and it all goes down fine.

Going to be pushing hard to get into the 70's this week....  fingers crossed!

Friday Photo

A little different this week... with Abby and Zac.  I remember how I used to avoid the camera at all costs and hence there are few photos of me and the kids.  So very sad really. 

Happy weekend everyone!

Photo Update - 12 Weeks Post Op

Well I finally think you can see a difference!  I still don't love the current photos but what a difference in my face and tummy and legs!   Just got to keep going!

Week 12

Where on earth has this week gone!  I'm a little sad with my .7kg loss this week.  Bringing me down to 81.7kg and a total loss of 21.3kg,

The negatives are that the kids are sick, it has been so hot, I haven't been concentrating on my protein and I am exhausted.  I ran out of my iron tablets a week ago and I really think that has affected me. I feel like I could go to bed and sleep for a week.

On the plus side I saw my GP on Friday and she is over the moon with my result.  My blood pressure is behaving and the best it has been for a long time.  I have reduced my medication doses and it should improve more and more.

Clothes are getting looser again and I know I need top consider a size 12 pair of work pants.  That is such an amazing feeling.

The other little piece of goss is that after a brief stint at internet dating I am now "dating"  a lovely, adorable and kind man.  It is early early days but I am the happiest I have been in  along time and he constantly amazes me with his words and actions.

Tomorrow night I will take my three month photos for the comparison - I really think there will be some big changes.

Friday Photo

So here is my photo for today.  What a different three months has made!

Week 11 - 20kgs gone!!!

So here is my weekly check in - this week I have lost 1.2kg, bringing my total loss to 20.6kg and my weight to 82.4kgs.

I have not been this weight for so many years.  People keep looking at me in shock, especially those that I have not seen for some time.

I have been living it up a little too much and know that I am getting back into really bad habits with drinking wine.  I am going to ease up a bit this week as I would LOVE to make my goal of being under 80kgs by 1st November.  It is still totally possible but I will really have to be well behaved.

Friday Photo

Here is my latest shot taken this morning. 

Week 10

So here are my weekly results...  I lost 1.2kg this week bringing it to a total of 19.4kg.  My weight is now 83.6kg.

When I first talked about doing the surgery I told my Mum that I would be stoked to loose 20kg by Christmas.  She told me not to aim so high! 

This week I have eaten out and I am really learning my boundaries.  For dinner on Saturday night had a smidge of cheesy bread, with a main of herb crusted barramundi and a little tomato salad.  I didn't eat all the fish but it was yummy.  I also had eggs benedict for Sunday brunch - it was delish and although I only ate a little Turk's bread the eggs and ham went down really well.

My only trouble atm is heartburn - mylanta just doesn't cut it so I have got something a little stronger - lets hope it helps.

Date Night

I just wanted to let you all know that I went on my first date in 12 years last night.  I bought a lovely new dress and heels and I must say - I felt fantastic. And the date went well too!

Week 9 - Slow and Steady

Well things have been a little slow this week  - I have managed to have a .8kg loss, bringing my total loss to 18.2kg.  My weight this morning was 84.8kg

I really was a naughty girl on the weekend, drinks with friends, dinner and drinks with friends and then dinner and drinks with friends again!  Silly girl I am.  I know that alcohol will hold things up but I have just been having so much fun and enjoying myself.  Must STOP drinking!

So I am going to be extra good this week.  I am so keen to get under 80kg and that is kicking me along.

The biggest change is how people have been treating me.  For those who are on the bigger side you totally understand what I mean when I say that you often get ignored...  in shops, trying on clothes. by men.  Several times over the past week I have noticed that strangers of the opposite sex have been much more gentlemanly - opening doors, letting me go first...  just little things.  

On Friday I arrived at the lift, there was a man on the pay phone and as I waited for the lift to arrive I peered into the perspex sign to quickly fix my hair and adjust my blouse before returning to the office.  I turned to find him still on the phone but smiling at me.  The lift came and ended his call and hopped in.  "Oh I am so glad I made it" he said...  "I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful!"  Oh my is he talking to me!  I blushed and said thank you.  It is amazing what a comment from a stranger can do to lift your spirits.  I think I have been on a high even since!

Goals Update!

Well I made my next goal and only a few days off my target!

Goals
To be under 90kg by 1st October - Achieved 8th October
To be under 85kg by 1st November - Achieved 3rd November
To be under 80kg by 1st December
To be under 75kg by 1st January

To fit into a size 12 pair of jeans
To buy some size 12 swimmers

I thought I would also add a photo of my Melbourne Cup outfit.  I love the dress but it is already getting a little loose.  Must stop buying to many more clothes until I shrink a bit more!  Really need a full length mirror so I can stop taking photos in the marketing office : )

Photo Update - 8 Weeks Post Op

Ok here we go again with these scary photos!   So just a reminder they are 17.5kg down which I know is a big diference but seeing all that fat still makes me feel huge.  So I just gotta keep going - step by step I am getting rid of the fat forever!

Week 8 - Over Half Way!

Well things have been chuggin along really well  - some days things seem to stall and then along comes a huge loss.  This week I have lost 1.3kg, bringing my total to 17.4kg.  My weight is now 85.6kg.

I must admit that I had a few drinks over the weekend so I would assume that effects the loss a bit. 

I haven't weighed under 86kg for well over 14 years.  I remember getting down to 86 for my wedding but boy it feels so exciting to think that it is totally doable to get down into the 70's for Christmas time.

I am obviously one day and 600grams off my 1st November goal - so close I am hoping that the scales will work in my favour overnight.

I am due for my 2 month photos this week so stayed tuned.  I am hoping we can all see a huge difference.

Week 7

Ok here are my results for the seventh week post op - down another 1.6kg!  So a total loss of 16.1kg and I now weigh 86.9kg.

The scales have been dropping like crazy all week  - in fact yesterday I weighed even less but for some reason I put on over night.  Not that I am unhappy, I thrilled!  Look at my ticker!  I am half way there!

When I started I listed my goals.  At the time I though that maybe they were a little over the top but now I can see that they are so achievable!

Goals
To be under 90kg by 1st October - Achieved 8th October
To be under 85kg by 1st November
To be under 80kg by 1st December
To be under 75kg by 1st January

To fit into a size 12 pair of jeans
To buy some size 12 swimmers

I am getting so many wonderful comments about shrinking, looking great and one of the other comments is that people keep say how much younger I look : )  My work Christmas party is on 17th December and it is a dress up event by the river - I am so excited thinking about what I can buy to wear!

PS - I seem to have had heaps of people looking at my blog over the last few weeks.  I love comments - please don't be shy : )

Casual Friday

Well just thought I would pop in and share a pic with you all wearing my new top that I bought in a normal size shop!!!  I'm back into some old smaller jeans and just feeling so happy : )

I have totally lost that "pregnant" look that seemed to be hanging on - my confidence is soaring and I can't stop smiling. 

Food Court Fiascos

Ok so I work in a shopping centre.... always have and probably always will. The centre food court is where I go for a break, to catch up with a friend or a quick bite for lunch - these days the food court has been a little harder to stomach.

So back a few weeks ago I started with some soup,  The kind you get from the Japanese place, I would order the Prawn Noodle Soup, the broth was hot and lovely and I would just skip the noodles and suck on the prawns.  Now I can eat the prawns and have even tried a couple of noodles.

I have also had soup from the Chinese place - normally soy chicken or wonton soup but their bowls are huge and the cleaners keep asking me if I don't like it.  My favourite is the chicken and sweet corn soup - it is a clear smooth eggy broth from the pick and mix bar - I just ask for a soup container and it is delish.  I have also tried a tiny plate of scrambled egg and a little rice from the pick and mix and it went down ok.

Sushi has also been ok although I need to remember to order only one roll - even the mini avocado rolls I can only get through half.

The other thing I love are rice paper rolls with prawns.  I add lots of the sauce and get rid of some of the rice paper. These are just lovely.

Next on my list is to venture into the world of salads and maybe even some chicken. I still crave a kebab and even an Oporto burger but I know that I just couldn't eat it.  One day I will give it a go but not anytime soon.

Week 6 - Shrinking

Well it has been a bit of a crazy week.  The scales really weren't happy with me early on and somehow I managed to put back on a kilo - I know I am naughty with my daily weighing.  The weekend came and we headed off camping with lots of walking and swimming and no scales in sight. This morning I was really happy with a 1.3kg loss bringing my total to 14.5.  I now weight 88.5kg.

Unfortunately I suffered badly from eating my Dad's wife's delicious Malay curry - the pain was bad.  Spicy things just don't seem to be agreeing with with me atm or maybe it was the few wines I enjoyed. 

Must stop drinking water on top of my meals, the result is always the same - it bounces back up!

Week 5 - Post Sleeve

So this week I have lost another 1.7kg bringing my total to 13.2.  AND I now weigh 89.8kg!!!!

I have been able to eat a few more things this week and drinking water is easier.  I also had a work function - had a few drinks and managed to eat a little of my fish and creamy mashed potato.

I really was on a high when I hit the 80's on Saturday morning and although my weight has stalled for the last few days I know that the scales will start moving again.

State Of Mind

So I am been acessing how my weight loss so far has affected me and how I feel about myself.  I definately feel more confident, my outlook is more positive and I am standing taller cause I want everyone to know that I have lost weight.

This morning three people have commented about my loss.  Boy those comment make you feel good.  It is positive praise and it just so lifts my spirits.

I have also been dreaming and drooling about all the new clothes I so want to wear.  I have several functions coming up and decided that a new dress was in order - I have gone all out and bought something a little loud and bright.  It arrived today and wow I just love it!  I am even going to go and buy some bright shoes to match.  A month ago I would never have dared buy something so bright and out there.

I am going to be slim!  I am not going to be overweight anymore!  I am going to be able to wear lovely clothes from normal shops! I am going to have more energy!  I am going to look after my childrens' Mummy and be the best parent that I can be!

Scary Photos - Before and Now

Ok I am not really sure whay I am doing this - these photos are really truely scary for me - so please don't be harsh.  The photos of the left were taken on the morning of my op.  The ones on the right were taken this morning.  So offically 4 weeks post op and 11.5 kg lighter.

I really thought that you would see more difference.  For me my tummy really has shrunk and I know my face seems slimmer but it seems hard for me to see any significant changes. 

I guess in four weeks I should see more of a difference..... 

Week 4 - One Month Down

I can hardly believe that it is four weeks today that I had my op.  It really has gone so fast and each day I am happier and happier - in fact apart from a little itchiness where my incisions are healing, everything is perfect.

So this week I have lost 1.7kg bringing my total loss to 11.5kg.  I am now 91.5kg.  Had another great week although yesterday I got my period and hence the last few days there hasn't been much of a loss on the scales.  I am hoping that next week I will blitz it and get into the 80's!!!!

I have been watching my water intake - I think I am getting a little dehydrated and mistaking thirst for hunger.  So I sip, sip ,sip all day long.  I have also tried some more foods this week - on Saturday night I had some Thai prawn stir fry with a tiny amount of rice and I had a cous cous salad last week.

People are really starting to notice the change and asking what I have been doing.  I still haven't told people at work but all my friends know.  All my clothes are loose and I think I am now finally going to be able to get rid of my frumpy maternity clothes that I have been hiding myself under.

I am also thinking more about exercise - I really want to starting walking and maybe do some yoga.  I am so time poor but I know it is important to find some time for me.

Food - Not So Glorious Food

I used to love food, though I am more of a savoury girl than chocolate or sugar.  Post sleeve I am learning exactly how much I lived for food.  I ate for comfort, drowned my sorrows with wine and could eat whatever I wanted without feeling full.

Things are different now but I am learning that my eyes really are bigger than my tummy!  I know that my tummy can now only hold about 200ml but when I prepare food I just serve myself way too much.  Normally a quarter of the way through I am full - totally full.  There is no way I can eat anymore.  The rest keeps ending up in the bin.

I also need to think about drinking water.  I can't drink right before, during or after my meal.  The result is like pushing the food down into my tummy and then it simply bounces right back up.  I few times I have taken a sip only to suddenly remember and spit it back out again.

My focus is still on soft food and I have tried some lasagna (mushed up), toast and cottage cheese and I even tried some cous cous the other day.  The important focus is protein atm and I need to eat protein first and with every meal.  Protein keeps me full, helps with with weight loss and gives me the energy I need. 

The other thing that is strange is the way some things taste - sometimes things that I used to love are horrible.  Last Friday I decided to have a taste of my previously loved wine with some friends.  At first it was really vinegary and took me a few sips over an hour to enjoy the taste.    After I had finished my glass I was satisfied and happy, I didn't feel the need to race back and have another.  This is such a different life than the old me.

Well I guess it is time to grab some lunch.... although I know I am not feeling very hungry!

Week 3 - So Close

Well this week has just flown by!  I really feel like I am in a new head space.  Over the weekend food really wasn't on my mind at all which is so different to the old me cause food used to be a main focus of fun and being happy.

So this week I have lost 2.4kg bringing my total to 9.8kg - damn that .2!  I now weigh 93.2kg.

My body feels totally back to normal - no pain and everything is healing really well.  I am able to drink a little more at a time now instead of having to sip which I am thankful for in this hot weather.

Everything is feeling a little saggy - my tummy and boobs are both a little deflated and I am wondering how they are going to go as more weight drops off.  I saw a a dear friend on the weekend and she commented that stretch marks and saggy bits are all badges of motherhood - such a wonderful and positive way of looking at it and feeling proud of the body we have post babies.

So here are my incisions three weeks on.  Three small ones and two larger ones, only a little bit of bruising now.  The other mark under my breast is an old one - so don't worry about that one.

Everything Old Is New Again!

Well I am feeling great today because I have managed to fit back in to my size 16 jeans!  It is amazing how one little size can make such a difference to your outlook.  I feel confident and positive and ready to take on the world.  Time to pull out all the smaller sizes that have been hiding in the back of robe.

I have also manage to go down a size in my work pants and in fact everything is feeling so much better.  My underwires are no longer rubbing!

I have been trying to eat a little more - small meals more often as I am trying to stop the plateau.  I was just eating so little and I am sure my body was going into starvation mode.  The extra food has restarted the weight loss and kept me moving in the right direction.

So here is a pic for today back into size 16 jeans....

Week 2 - Post Sleeve

I really can't believe that it has been two weeks since my operation.  This time two weeks ago I was still in recovery and apparently chucking my guts out!

My weight loss this week is .9kg so things have slowed after my huge loss last week.  I am now 95.6kg and feeling really good.  I have no pain, my incisions are healing well and the bruises are fading. My clothes are feeling loose and my bras are fitting so much better.  My skin is also looking great - it is amazing what no sugar and crap can do for you.

I returned  to work today and had several comments about looking "fresh" and "glowing".  It is as though they can't quite but their finger on what is different.  Two people also mentioned that they thought I had lost weight. 

My daily food is still protein shakes, yogurt and soups.  Though today I followed my same day sleeve mate, Stacey and introduced 2 cruskits with cottage cheese for lunch, I also had a scrambled egg for dinner.  I am focusing on high protein and sipping water all day to keep my fluids up.

I feel so positive about the direction I am heading, I feel strong and confident that I am changing my life forever.

Learning the Hard Way

Being newly sleeved it is hard to know what you can and can't eat.  In this initial phase it is a liquid diet - protein shakes, yogurts, soups and the like.  My new stomach can only handle about 200mls at a time, so I eat slowly and try not to overdo it.

I am not hungry, not really at all.  It is more a mental thing - you smell something and it smells yummy, I would love to taste it but I know eating it will hurt, and when I stop and think about it I am not actually hungry.  Kinda strange really.  I sometimes find myself standing at the fridge door - just looking in...  I am not hungry so I guess it is habit and boredom.

I have spent some time thinking about my emotional needs on food.  I think that they were greater than I actually dared to admit or even realised.  Food and wine has been my emotional crutch for long while now.  I haven't have anything to "drink" since being sleeved and it feels good.

I must keeping remembering to take my time - food and drink must be slow.  I couple of times I really have totally forgotten and hence learnt the hard way.  If I gulp a few mouthfuls of water or eat something that I shouldn't (like some of Abby's boiled egg this morning) then it hurts.  The best way of describing it is like you have swallowed a dish sponge full of water....  you feel it slide down, then it hits my little tummy and ouch!!! the pain is intense.  So it is all a learning phase.  Slow and steady.

Week 1 Post Sleeve

So here I am one week down and feeling pretty good.  As you may or may not know I sucked at Opti - after the surgeons office said that it didn't have to do it if I didn't want to I was pretty slack and only had a .7kg loss the week before my op.  Since sleeve day I have lost a massive 5.8kg!!!

My body seems to be finding it's rhythm.  I have past the initial constipation and moved onto a - shall we say - more liquid issue, but I am sure things will settle down.

Starting to see some changes in my face and tummy.  I am noticing the cold much more than ever before in fact I was never really cold - the last few nights I have been freezing.  I had also been suffering from sweating attacks several times a day, they are horrible and embarrassing and I have no idea which part of my badly operating body was responsible but I am so pleased to say that they are gone!  Gone completely!  My pillow is try at night, I can straighten my hair without dripping and I have even been wearing jumpers!

I'm Sleeved!

Well it is all done!  I am on the other side and life seems so good.  I am not in any real pain, I have lost kilos upon kilos and I’m not hungry!  I haven’t vomited, I am feeling stronger and stronger every day and best of all my horrible daily sweats seem to have vanished.

For those of you who love details I have lots for you, so settle in and take yourself back to Monday 5^th September….

I knew I had to fast so I was up early for a protein shake at 6am and was a little stressed that I wasn’t going to be able to eat all day. Got the kids off to kindy, did some last minute shopping with Mum before packing and showering and heading to the local private hospital. 

The roundabout started when we arrived at noon for my 3.30pm surgery – first to Reception, and then passed off to the surgery lounge (1), called to the desk and signed about 10 forms, seated in the next lounge(2). Met my lovely jovial anaesthetist and ran through lots of details, on the scales, bp and past surgery.  Back to the lounge(2) and by this time Mum was getting hungry and I decided that she should go and come back and meet me in my room post op. Next a nurse calls me in and checked all my details once again and moves me to another lounge(3) – let’s call it the freezing lounge because even I was shivering.  Next the pathology lady comes and vamps my blood and I am really surprised she could find a vein let alone blood that wasn’t frozen!  Still waiting in lounge (3) – and finally they come and get me explaining that they are really running behind and to take me to the pre-op ward.  I use the bathroom and change into the lovely gown, compression stockings, sockettes and hat.  I spend the next hour watching tv and waiting.  Finally a cheery wardsman comes to collect me and wheels me what seemed like kilometres to the pre-theatre room.  Apparently there will be another few minutes to wait as the previous patient is still on the table!  Every few minutes someone pops in to see if all is well and introduces themselves including my surgeon.  Soon my smiley anaesthetist comes in and prepares me for the next few minutes, he puts the drip in my hand, makes small talk and they wheel me into theatre.  I take a look around, say a hi to everyone and then I am off to sleep.  It was approximately 5.20pm.

The next memory that I have is arriving back in my room – seeing my Mum, trying to throw up and finding out that it had just gone 9pm.  Apparently I didn’t do too well in recovery and they kept me there for about 2 hours.  I have no memories of that time and I am thankful.

The night passes slowly, lots of wake ups to check stats, a trip to the bathroom, and before I know it morning has arrived.  I am feeling pretty good, no bad pain, able to get up and use the bathroom and a lovely lady comes and helps me to shower.  My surgeon comes and checks me over as do the registrars. I am using my little pain button a little and sipping on my water.  I doze in between servings of bad daytime TV.  As we head into the night I start to get a headache but don’t think too much of it.  By 9pm it is the worst headache I have ever had.  Every little thing hurts my head - the nurse’s chatter, the man coughing in the room across the hall, the light under the door and especially my drip machine which beeps each time it gets close to running short on any of the three substances on my drip tree.  I have a cry to the nurses…  surely there is something they can do and I wade through the night into Wednesday morning feeling like I have met with hell - yet still my tummy is feeling fine.

Over the course of the day they try O2, Ibuprofen, take me off the pain button and try another med.  I can’t move, I shake, sweat and almost vomit anytime I get out of bed.  I refuse a shower, ask them to keep my door closed and the curtains pulled and continue to try and sip my water.

My phone is getting so many calls and texts but I turn it to silent – I just can’t even bare to look at the screen. Night comes and things feel a little better.  I drug up and manage a little more sleep but not before I learn to turn off that damn drip machine beeping.

Thursday morning I feel a little brighter.  My vein collapses and they take out the drip… something I was delighted about.  Mum arrives after finishing 48 hours on shift and comes to my rescue with some yummy juice and wet washer for my head.  She helps me shower and change into my own pjs.  I am still feeling weak and my head still hurts but things are looking up. 

As the hours past I feel better, I try to get moving and not nap too much and before I know it Friday morning is here and I am given permission to come home. They still weren’t able to tell me what caused the headache.  The drugs, the GA, dehydration, the body detoxing – but it was horrible.

Since I have been home I am getting better and better each day.  The only thing that hurts is my leg which is bruised from all the anticlotting injections but I didn’t even have to take any panadol today.  I do get some slight pulling if I turn the wrong way, my five incisions are a little bruised but otherwise I am feeling great.

I Hate Photos!

I never used to feel this way but the more weight I put on the more I seemed to avoid the camera.  I much preferred to be taking the photos than in them.  I look at few shots that I have and I feel sad - I wish there was more photos of me and my kids, instead of the few I have which are normally me trying to hide behind the kids.  This is one thing that I want to change for the future. 

Even though I am not proud of these shots I am going to post them - to remember and learn.

How Did I Get Here...

Being overweight isn't something that just happens.  For me it has been a steady upward journey with a few flurries and dips along the way.  But really I have been overweight my entire adult life, it has just been a question of how much.

I love food....  I love drinks....  I love entertaining....  I love baking....  I love trying new things - but I don't love being fat.  I really put it down to a love of food, bad habits and a sedimentary lifestyle that has put me where I am.  These things coupled with my health issues have just made it so so hard.

When the seed was first planted in January I was totally against the idea.  I was also told that in order to loose weight I would need to exercise for a minimum of an hour a day, seven days a week and in order to maintain any weight loss I would need to do that FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!  I think that is when fear struck me. 

I looked forward and knew that I wanted to be here for my kids.  I want to see them grow.  I didn't want to be like my Mum and be overweight my entire life.  So I investigated - maybe WLS was an option.

So here I am one week from  my operation and I am excited.  Excited about the change and the path to a new me.  I am inspired by the others on the forum, their success and how far many of them have come.  I know that things might get a little hard but I am ready, really ready for my new life to begin.

Ok So What Is A Sleeve Gastrectomy?

The Sleeve Gastrectomy or aka Gastric Sleeve, is a relatively new procedure for weight loss. It involves the permanent removal of 80% of the stomach, performed under a General Anaesthetic using advanced keyhole (laparoscopic) surgery.  Sounds a bit icky hey?

The sleeve procedure has emerged as an effective and safe form of weightloss surgery that compares very well against other established procedures such as the Gastric Band and the Gastric Bypass.

Although surgical staplers are used during the procedure, it is a very different operation to the old 'stomach stapling' procedure which was popular in the 1980's and 90's. In that procedure, the stomach was simply partitioned by staples, but no part of the stomach was actually removed. Over time, this partition was prone to opening up, restoring the stomach back to its original dimensions and leading to weight regain. The Sleeve Gastrectomy is a fundamentally different procedure in several ways; perhaps the most important difference is that the part of the stomach on the other side of the staple line is physically removed, eliminating the possibility of the 2 areas joining back up later. Another difference is that the Sleeve Gastrectomy is performed using keyhole (laparoscopic) surgery rather than by a major incision, so recovery is much faster and post-operative pain is minimal. Further advantages are that wound infections and hernias are virtually eliminated.

Although the physical size of the stomach is reduced, the normal direction of the food stream through the stomach and the rest of the intestinal tract is not altered. This means that all nutrients including vitamins, minerals and protein will continue to be absorbed normally. It simply reduces the holding capacity from about 1.5 litres of food and liquid to approximately 250mls. This allows a person to feel comfortably satisfied and full with a meal size approximately equivalent to a cup of food. Typically, Sleeve Gastrectomy patients will have between 4-6 small meals per day, which is actually the ideal way to eat. Dietitians recommend small frequent meals as a way of avoiding big swings in Insulin levels and achieving a more even intake of calories as part of a healhier eating pattern. Despite being smaller, the stomach sleeve still functions normally- food and nutrients continue to enter and leave in the same way, acid continues to be made to assist in digestion, and essential vitamins and minerals such as B12, calcium, folate and iron can be absorbed normally.

The sleeve gastrectomy appears to work in 3 distinct ways. Firstly, the major reduction in stomach capacity allows patients to become full and satisfied with a much smaller meal, providing portion control. Secondly, levels of the hunger hormone Ghrelin are reduced by 50%, as the removed part of the stomach is rich in cells that make that hormone. Patients consistently report feeling less hungry between their meals as a result of this. Thirdly, there appears to be a change in way that fatty foods are handled by the digestive track- patients frequently report losing their taste for greasy foods, which seem to make them feel more bloated, unsettled, or queesy. Dietitians like this aspect of the Sleeve- it helps patients adopt healthier eating habits.

Another advantage is that there are generally fewer dietary restrictions as the entrance to the stomach is not narrow like a gastric band. Generally all types of food, including breads and steak, can usually be comfortably eaten, and eating quality maximises once the sleeve has settled in (Generally around 3-6 months after surgery).

Althought the average weightloss overall is similar between the band and the sleeve, weight is usually lost more quickly after the sleeve gastrectomy (typically the goal weight is reached within 9-12 months with a sleeve gastrectomy instead of 12-18 months with a gastric band). Also, the amount of weight lost seems to be more consistent and reliable, with the majority of patients achieving at least 50% loss of their excess weight. This is because the sleeve gastrectomy is more powerful, as it restricts the quantity of both liquid and solid calories, where as the band can easily be 'cheated' with liquid calories. Whilst the gastric band is very good at reducing hunger and allowing small meals to be satisfying, it relies more heavily on patients improving their dietary habits and lifestyle in order to achieve best results.

Info taken from OClinic http://oclinic.com.au/sleevegastrectomy.html

Gone But Not Forgotten

Well this project has been neglected for long enough! 

The last six months has been hell.  Finding out about my husbands affair, coping with the separation, going back to work after maternity leave, putting our home on the market, selling the house, buying a new one, my grandfather passing away and then moving to our new home that I bought for me and the kids.  My psychologist thinks I am doing so well due to the many stresses thrown at me.  There are good days and bad days and lots in between - but here I am.

In early January on the trip to see the endocrinologist she suggested weight loss surgery.  OMG NO!  Not in a million years would I consider something like that.  She went on to explain that with my BP, metabolic problems and sugar issues - weight loss was going to be a hard slog.  The thought was echoed by my GP but even then it really wasn't a consideration.

Slowly I started to investigate - maybe this was an option for me.  I visited a surgeon about having a gastric sleeve.  Spoke in length with my psychologist.  Wow the results people were getting were amazing! 

Then there was a twist of fate.  Quite by chance I met this lovely lady.  She was beautiful with a figure to die for.  Then I discovered that two years ago she'd had the exact surgery that I was considering.  She has gone from  132kg to 68kg!  Not only that, but she worked in my centre and was a single mum to a little girl 3 months younger than Abby.  A friendship was formed and I guess my mind was made up.

So I am booked to have a gastric sleeve on Monday 5th September.  I am so excited about the changes that are about to happen in my life.  Project Me has taken on a new phase - come along for the ride!

Week 6 - Suddenly Alone

Well I did weight in on Friday and was pleased with my 2.2 kg loss bringing me down to 96.6kgs but it has certinaly been a tough one.

Last week my I discovered that my husband of 8 years has been having an affair for over 2 years.  Keep in mind that our little baby is only 7.5 months old.  He has walked out and left claiming that he no longer has feelings for me.  My life is shattered. 

So I guess part of the loss is a stress/not eating/feeling shit kind a loss.

Week 5 - Plus a bit!

Firstly I have changed my weigh in day to a Friday.  It just seems a bit easier as I find it easier to be strict during the week and then it gives me a little more freedom on the weekend.

I have managed a 600g loss this week.  Sure I was hoping for a little more but I am happy.  I really need to lift my game in the exercise area. 

I have also changed over my medication this week with a few yucky side effects.  I hope that they will settle down over the next week.

So that is that.  This week I am going to focus on my lunches and also ensure that my carb load is low for my evening meal.

My Goals

As part of the Just Keep Swimming Team my goal is to take small quality steps toward life long weight loss and fitness.  I want to improve my self esteem, my confidence and my health.  I want to be a happy and healthy Mummy and Wife and enjoy every moment with my family, living life to the full.

I will loose a minimum of 25kg in 2011.

I will do cardio exercise at least 3 times each week for 40 minutes.

I will commence a hand weights programme 3 times a week from home.

I will increase my overall water intake to 2 litres each day.

I will eat consciously , plan my meals and record my calorie intake on a daily basis.

I will take time for myself each week to do something for me.

I will take small and steady steps towards my goals and not give up when things get tough.

My aim is to measure progress each month against these goals and track my progression to make me accountable and to stay true to myself.

Week 4 - On My Way!

I am so happy to report a 1kg loss this week!  My slow and steady plan is coming together and I am currently setting my goals for the coming months.

Will be back later with the ins and outs.

Week 3 - Getting My Act Together

Well a few days late but I am proud to report a 500g loss on Monday : ) 

I have really been focusing on my food this week - I have joined Calorie King and I am really thinking about everything that I put in my mouth. 

My darling SIL has lent me her treadmill for six months and it is currently taking pride of place in our lounge room!  My aim to to walk in the evening three to five times per week, building up to everyday.

Life has been a bit crazy with me returning to work so I hope to find my groove a little more over the coming weeks and complete my goal challenge with my Just Keep Swimming group.

Feeling Down

I'm stuck in a rut at the moment and I am not sure how to get through.  It just seems like one thing after another.  Abby starting daycare, a trip to the dentist with news that I am going to need some major work done that is going to cost a fortune, going to buy some new bras and having to buy size 18F!!!!!, dreading that I have to go back to work next week and in general feeling teary and sad.

I took these horrible photos of me last week and I wasn't sure that I was going to share them but what the hell.... life can't really get much worse. 

At least with the board shorts it hides all the celulite.  My gosh it is so so hideious.  I want to hide under a rock forever.

Week 2 - Totally Stuffed It

Well I was going to say f@#ked it but that wouldn't be nice would it!  Well week two is gone and there is no more weight lost.  I am pissed at myself because I have let my emotional eating get the better of me - today was a shocker.

My little bub started daycare today as I am due back at work next Tuesday.  I am totally crushed and an emotional wreak.  I mean what sort of parent puts a six month old into daycare four days a week. Stupid mortgage, stupid job, stupid house - ok I guess I am angry too.  I feel like a bad mother and I miss my little bubby girl so so much.

Tomorrow I need to start afresh.  How do I do that when I feel like shit?  The guilt is horrible.

And I'm going back to work next week just as heavy as when I left to go and have my baby.  I feel like a stupid fat slob.  Embarrassed and fat.

I am hoping that a good nights sleep will bring some clarity.  I have also joined a new facebook group of lovely EB ladies who are all in the same weight loss boat. 

Back to square one.

Health and Wellbeing

These two really go hand in hand.  My health is a big thing for me.  I have had high blood pressure since I was 18.  There is no medical reason for it - it is simply Essential Hypertension and I have been medicated for many years.  Obviously it cannot be helped by the fact that I am overweight.  So if you add the blood pressure issues together with being overweight and also add gestational diabetes the most likely outcome is Type 2 Diabetes. 

So far I have avoided the diagnosis but I have come close and my body does not process sugar well hence it should be avoided.

Today I met with my endocrinologist, she manages my BP and also my sugar issues especially when I was pregnant.  Now I have weaned Abby we are about to shake things up a bit with my medication - time to try something new, I am also going back some other medication to assist with my insulin levels. 

To keep me focused today I have found a virtual weight loss avatar.  The first shot is my build at 102kg.  The second at 75kg.  I can do this! 

Week 1 - Check In

Well this week seems to have flown by so fast.  On the diet front things have been a little slack with too much emotional eating.  I am happy to say that I did move move - a few walks to the shops with the kids instead of taking the car. 

The result is .9 kg down - I am now 101kg.  Normally I would throw in the towel at this point and be disappointed at not losing more.  But I am happy - after all that is .9kg of fat that is now gone FOREVER.

This week my focus is to reduce my carbs and only snack on the allowable foods.  I am using Isowhey shakes this time as the sugar levels are so much lower than TF style shakes.  I am also loving the Symply Too Good To Be True Cookbook.  It has a Masterclass in the back that I plan on doing after I have lost the initial kick start weight.

I am also debating whether to go back to Contours or to get an exercise bike....  hmmm more research required.

Focus

Well with the floods all around us, this week has been a tough one. It has been impossible to take your eyes off the TV and I keep looking out the window at all the water that we can see in the valley below us.

I have started doing a few weeks of shakes - I know they work fast and I really need to drop some kilos to fit back into my work clothes. For me they are not really a long term option - I love my food too much. Unfortunately I have been struggling with emotional eating so the shakes aren't really doing their thing. The other issue is the lack of fresh food in our local area - we aren't sure how bad this will get.

The sun has come out today so at least I can get out and do some walking. I need to move and to get away from the TV.

Here We Go!

Well I am still balancing things out around here.... so please bear with me. This blog is really for me, about me and needed by me to keep me sane and accountable through this year of development and change.

I guess you could call it a metamorphisis. Sometimes it isn't going to be pretty. I know that but I just have to start. Step by step things are going to start falling into place.

So this is the starting point. Horribily overweight - 101.9kg - yes I think they call that obese. Health issues - blood pressure and blood sugar issues. Esteem issues - yes I feel crap, disgusting and fat. Personal development - I want some time for me. I want to have more energy for my kids. I want to be a great role model. I want to be proud of who I am. I want my marriage to grow. I want to get back my confidence.

So this is the starting point.