Food - Not So Glorious Food

I used to love food, though I am more of a savoury girl than chocolate or sugar.  Post sleeve I am learning exactly how much I lived for food.  I ate for comfort, drowned my sorrows with wine and could eat whatever I wanted without feeling full.

Things are different now but I am learning that my eyes really are bigger than my tummy!  I know that my tummy can now only hold about 200ml but when I prepare food I just serve myself way too much.  Normally a quarter of the way through I am full - totally full.  There is no way I can eat anymore.  The rest keeps ending up in the bin.

I also need to think about drinking water.  I can't drink right before, during or after my meal.  The result is like pushing the food down into my tummy and then it simply bounces right back up.  I few times I have taken a sip only to suddenly remember and spit it back out again.

My focus is still on soft food and I have tried some lasagna (mushed up), toast and cottage cheese and I even tried some cous cous the other day.  The important focus is protein atm and I need to eat protein first and with every meal.  Protein keeps me full, helps with with weight loss and gives me the energy I need. 

The other thing that is strange is the way some things taste - sometimes things that I used to love are horrible.  Last Friday I decided to have a taste of my previously loved wine with some friends.  At first it was really vinegary and took me a few sips over an hour to enjoy the taste.    After I had finished my glass I was satisfied and happy, I didn't feel the need to race back and have another.  This is such a different life than the old me.

Well I guess it is time to grab some lunch.... although I know I am not feeling very hungry!

Week 3 - So Close

Well this week has just flown by!  I really feel like I am in a new head space.  Over the weekend food really wasn't on my mind at all which is so different to the old me cause food used to be a main focus of fun and being happy.

So this week I have lost 2.4kg bringing my total to 9.8kg - damn that .2!  I now weigh 93.2kg.

My body feels totally back to normal - no pain and everything is healing really well.  I am able to drink a little more at a time now instead of having to sip which I am thankful for in this hot weather.

Everything is feeling a little saggy - my tummy and boobs are both a little deflated and I am wondering how they are going to go as more weight drops off.  I saw a a dear friend on the weekend and she commented that stretch marks and saggy bits are all badges of motherhood - such a wonderful and positive way of looking at it and feeling proud of the body we have post babies.

So here are my incisions three weeks on.  Three small ones and two larger ones, only a little bit of bruising now.  The other mark under my breast is an old one - so don't worry about that one.

Everything Old Is New Again!

Well I am feeling great today because I have managed to fit back in to my size 16 jeans!  It is amazing how one little size can make such a difference to your outlook.  I feel confident and positive and ready to take on the world.  Time to pull out all the smaller sizes that have been hiding in the back of robe.

I have also manage to go down a size in my work pants and in fact everything is feeling so much better.  My underwires are no longer rubbing!

I have been trying to eat a little more - small meals more often as I am trying to stop the plateau.  I was just eating so little and I am sure my body was going into starvation mode.  The extra food has restarted the weight loss and kept me moving in the right direction.

So here is a pic for today back into size 16 jeans....

Week 2 - Post Sleeve

I really can't believe that it has been two weeks since my operation.  This time two weeks ago I was still in recovery and apparently chucking my guts out!

My weight loss this week is .9kg so things have slowed after my huge loss last week.  I am now 95.6kg and feeling really good.  I have no pain, my incisions are healing well and the bruises are fading. My clothes are feeling loose and my bras are fitting so much better.  My skin is also looking great - it is amazing what no sugar and crap can do for you.

I returned  to work today and had several comments about looking "fresh" and "glowing".  It is as though they can't quite but their finger on what is different.  Two people also mentioned that they thought I had lost weight. 

My daily food is still protein shakes, yogurt and soups.  Though today I followed my same day sleeve mate, Stacey and introduced 2 cruskits with cottage cheese for lunch, I also had a scrambled egg for dinner.  I am focusing on high protein and sipping water all day to keep my fluids up.

I feel so positive about the direction I am heading, I feel strong and confident that I am changing my life forever.

Learning the Hard Way

Being newly sleeved it is hard to know what you can and can't eat.  In this initial phase it is a liquid diet - protein shakes, yogurts, soups and the like.  My new stomach can only handle about 200mls at a time, so I eat slowly and try not to overdo it.

I am not hungry, not really at all.  It is more a mental thing - you smell something and it smells yummy, I would love to taste it but I know eating it will hurt, and when I stop and think about it I am not actually hungry.  Kinda strange really.  I sometimes find myself standing at the fridge door - just looking in...  I am not hungry so I guess it is habit and boredom.

I have spent some time thinking about my emotional needs on food.  I think that they were greater than I actually dared to admit or even realised.  Food and wine has been my emotional crutch for long while now.  I haven't have anything to "drink" since being sleeved and it feels good.

I must keeping remembering to take my time - food and drink must be slow.  I couple of times I really have totally forgotten and hence learnt the hard way.  If I gulp a few mouthfuls of water or eat something that I shouldn't (like some of Abby's boiled egg this morning) then it hurts.  The best way of describing it is like you have swallowed a dish sponge full of water....  you feel it slide down, then it hits my little tummy and ouch!!! the pain is intense.  So it is all a learning phase.  Slow and steady.

Week 1 Post Sleeve

So here I am one week down and feeling pretty good.  As you may or may not know I sucked at Opti - after the surgeons office said that it didn't have to do it if I didn't want to I was pretty slack and only had a .7kg loss the week before my op.  Since sleeve day I have lost a massive 5.8kg!!!

My body seems to be finding it's rhythm.  I have past the initial constipation and moved onto a - shall we say - more liquid issue, but I am sure things will settle down.

Starting to see some changes in my face and tummy.  I am noticing the cold much more than ever before in fact I was never really cold - the last few nights I have been freezing.  I had also been suffering from sweating attacks several times a day, they are horrible and embarrassing and I have no idea which part of my badly operating body was responsible but I am so pleased to say that they are gone!  Gone completely!  My pillow is try at night, I can straighten my hair without dripping and I have even been wearing jumpers!

I'm Sleeved!

Well it is all done!  I am on the other side and life seems so good.  I am not in any real pain, I have lost kilos upon kilos and I’m not hungry!  I haven’t vomited, I am feeling stronger and stronger every day and best of all my horrible daily sweats seem to have vanished.

For those of you who love details I have lots for you, so settle in and take yourself back to Monday 5^th September….

I knew I had to fast so I was up early for a protein shake at 6am and was a little stressed that I wasn’t going to be able to eat all day. Got the kids off to kindy, did some last minute shopping with Mum before packing and showering and heading to the local private hospital. 

The roundabout started when we arrived at noon for my 3.30pm surgery – first to Reception, and then passed off to the surgery lounge (1), called to the desk and signed about 10 forms, seated in the next lounge(2). Met my lovely jovial anaesthetist and ran through lots of details, on the scales, bp and past surgery.  Back to the lounge(2) and by this time Mum was getting hungry and I decided that she should go and come back and meet me in my room post op. Next a nurse calls me in and checked all my details once again and moves me to another lounge(3) – let’s call it the freezing lounge because even I was shivering.  Next the pathology lady comes and vamps my blood and I am really surprised she could find a vein let alone blood that wasn’t frozen!  Still waiting in lounge (3) – and finally they come and get me explaining that they are really running behind and to take me to the pre-op ward.  I use the bathroom and change into the lovely gown, compression stockings, sockettes and hat.  I spend the next hour watching tv and waiting.  Finally a cheery wardsman comes to collect me and wheels me what seemed like kilometres to the pre-theatre room.  Apparently there will be another few minutes to wait as the previous patient is still on the table!  Every few minutes someone pops in to see if all is well and introduces themselves including my surgeon.  Soon my smiley anaesthetist comes in and prepares me for the next few minutes, he puts the drip in my hand, makes small talk and they wheel me into theatre.  I take a look around, say a hi to everyone and then I am off to sleep.  It was approximately 5.20pm.

The next memory that I have is arriving back in my room – seeing my Mum, trying to throw up and finding out that it had just gone 9pm.  Apparently I didn’t do too well in recovery and they kept me there for about 2 hours.  I have no memories of that time and I am thankful.

The night passes slowly, lots of wake ups to check stats, a trip to the bathroom, and before I know it morning has arrived.  I am feeling pretty good, no bad pain, able to get up and use the bathroom and a lovely lady comes and helps me to shower.  My surgeon comes and checks me over as do the registrars. I am using my little pain button a little and sipping on my water.  I doze in between servings of bad daytime TV.  As we head into the night I start to get a headache but don’t think too much of it.  By 9pm it is the worst headache I have ever had.  Every little thing hurts my head - the nurse’s chatter, the man coughing in the room across the hall, the light under the door and especially my drip machine which beeps each time it gets close to running short on any of the three substances on my drip tree.  I have a cry to the nurses…  surely there is something they can do and I wade through the night into Wednesday morning feeling like I have met with hell - yet still my tummy is feeling fine.

Over the course of the day they try O2, Ibuprofen, take me off the pain button and try another med.  I can’t move, I shake, sweat and almost vomit anytime I get out of bed.  I refuse a shower, ask them to keep my door closed and the curtains pulled and continue to try and sip my water.

My phone is getting so many calls and texts but I turn it to silent – I just can’t even bare to look at the screen. Night comes and things feel a little better.  I drug up and manage a little more sleep but not before I learn to turn off that damn drip machine beeping.

Thursday morning I feel a little brighter.  My vein collapses and they take out the drip… something I was delighted about.  Mum arrives after finishing 48 hours on shift and comes to my rescue with some yummy juice and wet washer for my head.  She helps me shower and change into my own pjs.  I am still feeling weak and my head still hurts but things are looking up. 

As the hours past I feel better, I try to get moving and not nap too much and before I know it Friday morning is here and I am given permission to come home. They still weren’t able to tell me what caused the headache.  The drugs, the GA, dehydration, the body detoxing – but it was horrible.

Since I have been home I am getting better and better each day.  The only thing that hurts is my leg which is bruised from all the anticlotting injections but I didn’t even have to take any panadol today.  I do get some slight pulling if I turn the wrong way, my five incisions are a little bruised but otherwise I am feeling great.

I Hate Photos!

I never used to feel this way but the more weight I put on the more I seemed to avoid the camera.  I much preferred to be taking the photos than in them.  I look at few shots that I have and I feel sad - I wish there was more photos of me and my kids, instead of the few I have which are normally me trying to hide behind the kids.  This is one thing that I want to change for the future. 

Even though I am not proud of these shots I am going to post them - to remember and learn.

How Did I Get Here...

Being overweight isn't something that just happens.  For me it has been a steady upward journey with a few flurries and dips along the way.  But really I have been overweight my entire adult life, it has just been a question of how much.

I love food....  I love drinks....  I love entertaining....  I love baking....  I love trying new things - but I don't love being fat.  I really put it down to a love of food, bad habits and a sedimentary lifestyle that has put me where I am.  These things coupled with my health issues have just made it so so hard.

When the seed was first planted in January I was totally against the idea.  I was also told that in order to loose weight I would need to exercise for a minimum of an hour a day, seven days a week and in order to maintain any weight loss I would need to do that FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!  I think that is when fear struck me. 

I looked forward and knew that I wanted to be here for my kids.  I want to see them grow.  I didn't want to be like my Mum and be overweight my entire life.  So I investigated - maybe WLS was an option.

So here I am one week from  my operation and I am excited.  Excited about the change and the path to a new me.  I am inspired by the others on the forum, their success and how far many of them have come.  I know that things might get a little hard but I am ready, really ready for my new life to begin.

Ok So What Is A Sleeve Gastrectomy?

The Sleeve Gastrectomy or aka Gastric Sleeve, is a relatively new procedure for weight loss. It involves the permanent removal of 80% of the stomach, performed under a General Anaesthetic using advanced keyhole (laparoscopic) surgery.  Sounds a bit icky hey?

The sleeve procedure has emerged as an effective and safe form of weightloss surgery that compares very well against other established procedures such as the Gastric Band and the Gastric Bypass.

Although surgical staplers are used during the procedure, it is a very different operation to the old 'stomach stapling' procedure which was popular in the 1980's and 90's. In that procedure, the stomach was simply partitioned by staples, but no part of the stomach was actually removed. Over time, this partition was prone to opening up, restoring the stomach back to its original dimensions and leading to weight regain. The Sleeve Gastrectomy is a fundamentally different procedure in several ways; perhaps the most important difference is that the part of the stomach on the other side of the staple line is physically removed, eliminating the possibility of the 2 areas joining back up later. Another difference is that the Sleeve Gastrectomy is performed using keyhole (laparoscopic) surgery rather than by a major incision, so recovery is much faster and post-operative pain is minimal. Further advantages are that wound infections and hernias are virtually eliminated.

Although the physical size of the stomach is reduced, the normal direction of the food stream through the stomach and the rest of the intestinal tract is not altered. This means that all nutrients including vitamins, minerals and protein will continue to be absorbed normally. It simply reduces the holding capacity from about 1.5 litres of food and liquid to approximately 250mls. This allows a person to feel comfortably satisfied and full with a meal size approximately equivalent to a cup of food. Typically, Sleeve Gastrectomy patients will have between 4-6 small meals per day, which is actually the ideal way to eat. Dietitians recommend small frequent meals as a way of avoiding big swings in Insulin levels and achieving a more even intake of calories as part of a healhier eating pattern. Despite being smaller, the stomach sleeve still functions normally- food and nutrients continue to enter and leave in the same way, acid continues to be made to assist in digestion, and essential vitamins and minerals such as B12, calcium, folate and iron can be absorbed normally.

The sleeve gastrectomy appears to work in 3 distinct ways. Firstly, the major reduction in stomach capacity allows patients to become full and satisfied with a much smaller meal, providing portion control. Secondly, levels of the hunger hormone Ghrelin are reduced by 50%, as the removed part of the stomach is rich in cells that make that hormone. Patients consistently report feeling less hungry between their meals as a result of this. Thirdly, there appears to be a change in way that fatty foods are handled by the digestive track- patients frequently report losing their taste for greasy foods, which seem to make them feel more bloated, unsettled, or queesy. Dietitians like this aspect of the Sleeve- it helps patients adopt healthier eating habits.

Another advantage is that there are generally fewer dietary restrictions as the entrance to the stomach is not narrow like a gastric band. Generally all types of food, including breads and steak, can usually be comfortably eaten, and eating quality maximises once the sleeve has settled in (Generally around 3-6 months after surgery).

Althought the average weightloss overall is similar between the band and the sleeve, weight is usually lost more quickly after the sleeve gastrectomy (typically the goal weight is reached within 9-12 months with a sleeve gastrectomy instead of 12-18 months with a gastric band). Also, the amount of weight lost seems to be more consistent and reliable, with the majority of patients achieving at least 50% loss of their excess weight. This is because the sleeve gastrectomy is more powerful, as it restricts the quantity of both liquid and solid calories, where as the band can easily be 'cheated' with liquid calories. Whilst the gastric band is very good at reducing hunger and allowing small meals to be satisfying, it relies more heavily on patients improving their dietary habits and lifestyle in order to achieve best results.

Info taken from OClinic http://oclinic.com.au/sleevegastrectomy.html